Sooooo…these days, we’re all living sandwiched between two fears:
FOMO (fear of missin’ out) and FOFU (the fear of fucking up).
One keeps us chasing other people’s lives/businesses - GO!
The other keeps us second-guessing ourselves and those close to us - STOP!
Together, they drain creative energy and keep us in motion without progress.
It’s ironic & both the opportunity and curse of more freedom. We have more tools than ever to make anything, reach anyone, or reinvent ourselves overnight.
Yet that same freedom creates pressure to pick right, move fast, and not blow it.
I’m no different. The more I notice these fears, the less they drive me. When I listen instead of react, I can use them as signposts.
Both fears carry signals:
Missing out Something matters. Usually it’s not the thing (someone making money, raising a round, posting abs), but the feeling behind the thing: financial confidence, power, physical confidence/strength…
Messing up points to care about your ‘thing’…work, team, kids, health. This tends to show up as either 1) paralysis, or 2) executive stuff so fast that it’s all junk.
How I work with ‘em:
FOMO: I remind myself I’ve got my own path — my own knitting. And if that’s unclear, then my knitting is figuring out my knitting (and helping others with theirs).
FOFU: “Being quick without hurrying”: smaller, more doses of baby steps (ship something!) mixed with reflection (what did I learn / what worked, what will I change next time?)
PS - getting this newsletter back up and going weekly+ is exactly a way I’m going to practice this.
So if you’ve been feeling stretched between those two fears - welcome my friend. You’re awake at the most interesting time in history!!
The goal isn’t to outrun FOFU or FOMO, ya can’t.
They aren’t going anywhere. AI will only turn up their dials.
So get comfy with seeing them, and walking with them vs. being driven by them.
No grand plan needed. Just curiosity, care, and the next move that feels ‘you’ or ‘right’, while practicing trust: you are exactly where you need to be, in order to have the future life you want to have.
It’s amazing what years of small steps and reflection can build.
Do you ever stop to reflect on how far you have come already… and something
Notice how most of our “power-ups” in life come from the most difficult times? Success coming from failure and all that :)
Quite the funny paradox, isn’t it!
I've been taking FOMO and FOFU and reframing them - or 'mindset shifting' them to:
COMO - certainty of missing out (acknowledging it's ok and life will still go on)
TADA - not an acronym, but celebrating those little mistakes or FU we make. It's part of one of the games/exercises I do at the start of a workshop, having everyone raise their hands above their heads like a trapeze artist who just fell off the high wire and shout "TADA". We giggle and start to confuse our body to open up and celebrate 'boo boos' rather than curling up and shutting down, making it harder to move on!